She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
