Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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