Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
