after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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