Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
