All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
