you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
