I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
