I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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