The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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