I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
pray to the hookup gods
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
