if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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