do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
