I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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