somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize