I wanna passion pit in your ass
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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