Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
