I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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