lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize