Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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