why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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