We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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