i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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