2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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