I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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