clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize