dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
