Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
