what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
