just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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