At least make sure they are 18
Why
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
