I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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