if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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