pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just found puke in my bra..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
