just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
