What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
