i permit you to call me
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
