she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
