peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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