Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
