I take back everything I said about communal showers
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
