Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
