we're blogging at a bar
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize