Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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