I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
