girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
