what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
