Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize