I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
