well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
