yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
