i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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