we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize