and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
