Whod you bang
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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