you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
