And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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