We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize