your thong is hanging out like whoa
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
